Guys like this SUCK

Ok this guy I have been talking about on previous posts,that said he can't be with me because "god" told him not to,I told him I had to have done something wrong like BIG TIME for god to say he didn't need to be with me and all of a sudden I'm insulting his religion! If I was insulting his religion i'm insulting my own. Then the guy says If I really wanted to have done soemthing wrong it would have been that I talked to much AKA annoying. It's official, every guy I have ever "dated" has said the same thing, "McKala you're annoying you talk to much." Now It's just comming from someone I really do "love" (btw love I have figured out is another word for "i'm actually secretly lying to you somehow even if I don't know it") This has made me just SICK of everything. I'm not suicidal people i'd NEVER do that. Anyway, I'm just to the point where I'm actually questioning my own faith. My entire life seems to have been a constant trap. It hasn;t never mattered how religious I was, something would always go horribly wrong. I eventually started thinking deep down that maybe God hates me somehow? Well, if he doesn't then this crap is pretty hard to explain. If he doesn't that also leaves a LOT to ask about. Bottom line, I may cut back the blog posts because I'm now depressed and I really just want to crawl into a dark hole and cry. Guys like this guy just........suck...