One Word:Guys

Ok, so a lot of girls have had crushes, right? Well, have any of you actually been in LOVE? Not "oh I think I love him but I really don't know" like the "I'd do anything to make him happy even if it meant I'd be hurt(emotionally)" I know I have, still am, but the guy is a jerk to me right now. Me and him have known each other since about 4th grade so about 9 years. We started going out in 7th grade. At first it was just "I think he's kinda cute" then after a while it turned into "I don't know what I'd do without him, I love him" So, we started thinking "Hey, we love each other, like really. Why don't we get married some day?" I was ok with it and supposedly so was he. He would always talk about "when we get married...". He wanted to go to the Marines, which I really didn't like but i finally was ok with it. September 5th he was like "I decided not to go to the Marines." I was SOOO happy I was literally a hair away from exploding. Then he hit me with a bomb shell. The guy dumped me like a ton of bricks, no explination. Now, all I can think about is, "Why?", "Was I to fat?", "Was I to annoying?", "Is there someone else?", "Why did he wait 5 years to say that?!" So many questions. I know not to dwell on it and I don't plan to. It's just that this was REAL love. It feels like I got everything taken away from me, my dad even asked if I was depressed because I kept saying "I don't care" everytime soemthing came up even if it was something I would normally get all excited about. Like family guy, I love family guy and I usually laugh a couple of times watching it, but I didn't even show a smile. All I can say about guys is that if they seem: Cute, Adoreable, Hot, Smart, Caring, Conciderate, Wealthy, whatever, THEY LACK SOMEWHERE BIG. If their smart, they probably aren't conciderate. If their wealthy, they probably arent smart in some ways. Get my point? This guy was "cute, smart, caring, conciderate, funny, loveable..." all that good stuff, but he lacked timing, maybe some caring because it didn't even seem to bother him after years of saying "I love you and I want to Marry you". HE WAS JUST OVER HERE A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO SAYING "I LOVE YOU AND I WANT TO MARRY YOU AFTER HIGH SCHOOL" BUT THAT CHANGED IN A MATTER OF DAYS!!  Bottom line....guys are dumb in some ways, guys are selfish sometimes, guys are always BAD. I'm not a lesbian, I like guys, I just don't want to be with one after this guy cause I have been dragged around enough to last me a LONG while.